Saturday, April 26, 2008

1,321,851,888 people can't be wrong


One of my brother's bosom buddies spent a summer working in China and kindly sent me this photo. I think it was intended to assuage my fears about bat-eating. This was the accompanying email:

"I already did this. This picture was taken on the mountain that trev, brit and i climbed in China. I think skinned, roasted bats are the way to go."

Pithy, but I got the message: China thinks bats are edible. Sorry, Mutie, but 1.3 billion people can't be more wrong than your bridge compadres.

Speaking of Mutie, she left me a very earnest voicemail which I thought someone (mainly my siblings) might enjoy:

"Amy, I'm going out to dinner now with Gail Hill, over to my club, and then when I get home I'm going to try to get you again because I just think you have got to stop this nonsense about the bat. You're gonna kill yourself! You know, Sarah said, they eat bats in other countries, they eat them, but you don't know how many live! You've got to get that bat thing out of your head. So tell Mr. Lee that the nineteen thousand dollars will come from someplace but it won't come from the bat. Byebye."

Gotta love the intensity. I feel genuinely bad for putting her through this much stress, but do I feel bad enough to turn down my Golden Ticket? Would you? Didn't think so.

The thing is, the Club Mutie references in her message is none other than McDonald's. Not a joke. This woman will proudly eat burgers slathered in e coli and boiled in hydrogenated oil, but she is going, if you will excuse me, bat-shit over eating a bat! Bless her heart. I think we'll all feel a lot better when this is over.

3 comments:

Dave said...

Oh man. She's right you know. A lot of them probably end up dying. Mutie is a poet. I would be very curious to know her opinion on Sarah and I supporting you in this. On a related note, I was discussing this activity with my friends the other day and one of them brought up a recently discovered GIANT fruit bat in Venezuela, I believe, that people have to climb up sizable cliffs to harvest. Think "Princess Test". The true mark of delicacy is how far you have to climb. Big as a chicken, this rodent. Look into it. May be worth a post, if for no other reason to gross out Mutie. Full speed ahead sister.

Austin said...

Amy, I know David already told you this, but there are countless bats in the Chimney next door. Lots of them, and they seem bigger than last year somehow. I don't know how long they stick around, they're migratory. So you might have to act fast on this one.

Austin said...

And why did I capitalize "Chimney"? Who knows, certainly not me.