I have the best in-laws a person could hope for (I don't think they know I have a blog, so you can be assured of my sincerity). They are lots of fun, easy-going, and, really, tend to get all the in-lawwing right. I'm sure that you will hear stories about all of them as time waxes on, but, for now, I would like to share a little story about Ryan's dad.
One evening during our spring break at the cabin, Ryan picked up a bb gun that was resting next to the porch doors and asked me if I had ever shot any kind of gun before (I responded in the negative; I think Bethesda, MD, where I was born and raised, is a largely gun-free zone). Ryan's dad joined in, describing a favorite pastime of his and one of the adolescent brothers-in-law: trying, in futility, to shoot the bats that come around during the summer. I'm sad to say I can't remember how the conversation progressed as it did. We were pretty much just shooting the breeze until Ryan's father offered to pay for my graduate studies.
If I could shoot and eat a bat.
Ryan's father is a man of his word. When Ryan and his sister Jacki were kids, the dad offered them each $1000 (that is the correct number of zeroes) to eat a garden snail. They both were awarded the money, although poor Jacki had to ingest her snail twice; on the first try, she barfed it back up.
At any rate, since the man meant business, I haughtily proclaimed that I would do whatever it took and provide photo documentation posthaste. A simple snag n' snack, flying rodent style. I was in. Duh. We are talking about a significant sum of money.
So yesterday I began planning my bat-attack. Naturally, I turned to Google and entered the keywords "bat hunting". (Incidentally, when Ryan got home and saw those keywords still present in the toolbar he truly laughed harder than I have ever seen him laugh). What I turned up involved this:
I mean, seriously though. I have no chance. That wily old man called my bluff, and right he was. No culinary technique could turn this little varmint into something ingestible. NO way.
And it's a damn shame.
P.S. If anyone has any great ideas about how to find, shoot, and eat a bat successfully, pass them along. This is not a joke.