Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sunday birthday

Every seventh year one's birthday will be on a Sunday. If you happen to descend from a religious tradition where purchasing goods or services on Sunday is forbidden, and if the majority of your local friends and family also subscribe to this tradition, your birthday will be less fun on these every-seventh-year occasions. If you have a golden quilted jumpsuit onto whose dorsal side you sewed the words "Birthday Suit" that you particularly enjoy wearing in public on your birthday while surrounded by friends and family, Sunday birthdays will be even more disappointing. It's just not the same to wear such a treasure around the house.

This year, I have a Sunday birthday. I wore a skirt and blouse instead of my birthday suit and went to church instead of well-populated public places. I felt a little despondent.

During church, one of the other church ladies snagged me in the hall wielding my sodden-bottomed niece who had requested a diaper change. Her mom was teaching a lesson upstairs and dad was nowhere to be found, the church lady told me. Could I possibly?

Sure, lady. It'll just be the icing on my birthday cake. You got a diaper?

As we proceeded through the intricacies of diaper-removal and -replacement, Adri and I were chatting. "Need new diaper!" "Yes, punkin, you sure do. We'll get it fixed right away." "Fix it!" "Mmmm hmmm. We'll fix it."

And then, a pause...

And then, drawers dropped, bottom exposed, face all aglow...

"Happy birthday Amy???"

It was, far and away, the best birthday greeting I have ever rececived. From now on, if you want to wish me a Happy Birthday, please, first remove your pants.

15 comments:

ixoj said...

Is it true?! Do we really share the same birthday? Hurrah except that this year it's on Sunday. Blech! But I hope you had a happy birthday anyway!

Liz Johnson said...

That is the best life rule I have ever heard. I think the world would be a better place if we all removed our pants before giving out well-wishes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! (my pants are totally off right now)

missy. said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAME!! (i'm wearing a skirt right now; does that count?) wish i could be there to celebrate with you, but i hope you've had a fabulous day. i've thought of you numerous times during the day...

Kelsey said...

Awww Adri. You'll have to reward her later in life by leaving the birthday suit to her in your will. Oh, and happy birthday.

Kate said...

If it makes you feel any better, I had to go to crappy ol' law school until 9:30pm on my birthday. Happy B Day ol' Gal!

Ann Marie said...

ha! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! But I'm not taking off my pants...or am I? You'll never know thanks to the fantasy world of the internet!

Jen said...

It's only up hill from here. Hope the rest of the day was that good.

Flood said...

So just like I promised, I forgot your birthday. I did it to make you feel better about forgetting mine, obviously. You know I wouldn't have otherwise. We can celebrate on the 31st. It is a pants-optional wedding, right?

Aby Runyan said...

Happy Birthday Amy! I am fully clothed right now, sorry. But seriously if I wasn't wearing any pants while I typed this message I might be in serious trouble with child protective services. So I'll leave em on. Imagine away if you wish however!
luvs, aby

The Dish said...

Could there be a better birthday greeting? Absolutely not.

Adriana said...

fantastic. I could have used some nudity on my bday as well. I was ridiculously busy and stressed all day over work stuff and to top it off 100+ people died in Mumbai. Next year we'll make up for it.

Jill said...

Jacki is a genius, but I'm calling family services. Happy birthday!

e said...

Splendid.

sterlingandbrandi said...

Happy Birthday! My pants are off and I don't care.

sterlingandbrandi said...

Happy Birthday! My pants are off and I don't care.