For those who may have been concerned that I have neglected to post about my illness because I am sipping Jack Daniels in the closet while weeping about how much I love my high school friends, put your minds at ease.
I switched to opiates and they work even better than booze!
After spending all of Sunday night hacking up "a lung" (code for gross lungey particulate matter in colorful gak-like suspension) I called the student health center at 7:30 a.m., when they, mercifully, open for business. I plead my case. I told them they already knew everything they needed to know and that I couldn't afford to come in for another appointment (don't tell my mom, I don't have insurance.) FIX IT!, I cried. And the kind doctor lady took ten minutes to explain all about my sickness to me and all about the medicines I had been taking and all about the new medicines I would soon be taking and, well, she made me feel like a real expert. If any of all y'all get sick, call me. I am newly certified in treating upper respiratory infections on a budget.
End of story, the new (code for opiate-laden) cough syrup worked like a charm and I am on the road to recovery which I have celebrated by purchasing a single serving key lime pie from the local fake-mex place and doing my homework. Hopefully this weekend I will learn to sleep unassisted again.
But I think I'll cash in on the refill, just in case I need it.
Codeine, I love you.