Thursday, January 15, 2009

Fun Hatin'

One of the tasks that has slipped through the cracks lately has been my role as the one lady household food production team. I haven't produced. We have been getting by on smoothies and canned soup, but yesterday finally ran out. No matter, I thought. I'll just order a pizza! A HEALTHY pizza!

For those not in the know, Papa John's makes a whole wheat pizza crust these days. I figured I'd order a veggie pizza, whole wheat crust, hold the cheese.

Ryan and I have never actually ordered a pizza during our marriage- he is not a big fan. He says the cheese leaves a permanent nauseating smell on his face. I think he is insane, but I only like gluttony when it is shared with others, so that's been that. No pizza for the Lees. But yesterday, Ryan discovered a pizza he could really sink his teeth into.

"I usually hate the crust but YUM!!! This crust is so WHEATY! And TASTY! I actually quite like it! And without the cheese it doesn't have that gross smell...cow excretion...gross...mmmyummmhealthypizza..."

Bless his heart. He always likes the gross stuff and it will probably buy him an extra twelve years on this planet (he will be a widow, though, as I only like the un-gross versions of everything, like shortening in my cookies and cheese EVERYWHERE, but I digress.) I, on the other hand, had an existential crisis.

Well, Amy, I guess this is what pizza is now. You'll get used to it. You've learned to prefer whole wheat bread and whole grain pasta. You don't mind consuming two salads a day. You think smoothies count as a treat. It'll be ok. You'll get used to it...WAIT A SECOND. I like REAL pizza! The good-tasting kind! With the cheese! Am I going to be the mom whose kids' friends never want to come over because they only have gross food? Will my children even have friends or will I immunize them against those too?! Who am I?!?!?

It's cool, self. You've always been a fun-hater, not wanting to play with the neighborhood kids because you might get dirty and being afraid to jump off rope swings into rivers. It's just that now, well, you're just getting really, really good at it.


Jen said...

I'm glad Ryan found you. Anti-cheese sentiment might have been a dealbreaker had Alex subscribed to it.

Mike and Alicia said...

Can I just say reading your thoughts to yourself makes me smile. I like your style!