Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Speaking of vanity
My mother shook her head and scrunched her nose, "Oh, A, no! You wouldn't want to cut it short?!? Not short?!? Would you?"'
I was amused that she thought I would keep my hair for vanity's sake. I haven't worn deodorant for the past three months, I never shave my legs and, let's be honest, a week when I shower more than twice is a hygienic triumph. But, it's funny, I was kinda attached to my goldilocks. Far and away my most complimented feature, it was not uncommon for total strangers to approach me and stroke my hair, murmuring about how thick it was. And they were right. Thick and blonde, rare and foolishly coveted. Perhaps they did not know what it was like to choose between an hour sweating under a blowdryer or forty eight with wet hair. Perhaps they did not know what three feet of horse mane feels (smells) like after a week without washing because there just simply wasn't time. Either way, I did, and I was done. Shorn like a sheep, mildly traumatized, but free as could be.
The only trouble is that my uncontrollable mop has been shooting from its follicles at a rabid rate. The first week the haircut was nice and manageable, but by the second week it had grown out to three time's its volume and twice its length and now, three weeks in, it looks, near as I can estimate, like a cross between Madonna at the 2003 MTV video music awards and a porcupine. The problem is mainly financial. At the rate I am going, for my hair to remain low-maintenance it must be maintained at a monthly expenditure of $110 dollars.
Anyone want to practice cutting hair on mine? I have nothing to lose, because if it turns out looking hideous, by the next week it should be ready for another shearing.
P.S. Surprise, mom! I cut my hair, but I made you a blog to make up for it! See, look what I can do with all the time I save not having to blowdry!