Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Speaking of vanity


My mother shook her head and scrunched her nose, "Oh, A, no! You wouldn't want to cut it short?!? Not short?!? Would you?"'

I was amused that she thought I would keep my hair for vanity's sake. I haven't worn deodorant for the past three months, I never shave my legs and, let's be honest, a week when I shower more than twice is a hygienic triumph. But, it's funny, I was kinda attached to my goldilocks. Far and away my most complimented feature, it was not uncommon for total strangers to approach me and stroke my hair, murmuring about how thick it was. And they were right. Thick and blonde, rare and foolishly coveted. Perhaps they did not know what it was like to choose between an hour sweating under a blowdryer or forty eight with wet hair. Perhaps they did not know what three feet of horse mane feels (smells) like after a week without washing because there just simply wasn't time. Either way, I did, and I was done. Shorn like a sheep, mildly traumatized, but free as could be.

The only trouble is that my uncontrollable mop has been shooting from its follicles at a rabid rate. The first week the haircut was nice and manageable, but by the second week it had grown out to three time's its volume and twice its length and now, three weeks in, it looks, near as I can estimate, like a cross between Madonna at the 2003 MTV video music awards and a porcupine. The problem is mainly financial. At the rate I am going, for my hair to remain low-maintenance it must be maintained at a monthly expenditure of $110 dollars.

Anyone want to practice cutting hair on mine? I have nothing to lose, because if it turns out looking hideous, by the next week it should be ready for another shearing.

P.S. Surprise, mom! I cut my hair, but I made you a blog to make up for it! See, look what I can do with all the time I save not having to blowdry!

13 comments:

Julie said...

Amy
you look gorgeous as always - i love it. and you. let's talk soon.

stace said...

yessssssssssssssssss. it's about time.

Kate said...

Welcome to the blogosphere. As those wierd Mormony commercials say..."Isn't it about time."

Adriana said...

Absolutely fanfabulous! I have learned that a good pair of shears and a 3 way mirror is a short-hair person's dream or teeny-tiny spiral perms... Ive gone that route too.

Zillah said...

I HEART IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsey (and Aaron too) said...

I'm glad to see your lovely hair after all these nights of waiting up for you to send them via email. And what better way to celebrate your loss than by blogging. I am glad to have someone else to stalk in my spare time.

Katie said...

$110 a month! I hope that is the figure you get when you factor in getting a hair cut every week. Because if that is the rate per haircut, I have to humbly recommend the Flo-bee.

Kristin said...

Yes! I've been waiting all my life for a Pamy blog.

Danno said...

Amy

Long time no see! I am happy that you informed me about the blog. I look forward to laughing my head off. I still don't think I have ever heard such a great story as the "thick in the back" story from you. Keep them coming. If you are still in Utah, come see me some time. Kim Edwards, and Leah Hunt and I hang out a lot. Come see us,

Katie Clark Hydrick

Jo said...

AWe, you really are the "short-brown-hair-room8" now! You look like a pixie. Not to be confused with jazmines' friend Pixie, but more to be confused with the magical kind, with wings, that live in forests, and drink flower nectar. see, thats you!
You've become high-low-maintenence person...but its the price you pay for low maitenence hair. (price=high-maitenance)
i luv u.

Jill said...

what the BEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Autumn and Barrett said...

Thank you for adding a link to a picture of a porcupine.

And thank you for blogging and for a reason to say "Barrett, hold on to your butt", because that's what I said when I had him check out your adorable (seriously, seriously adorable) short-haired self.

Emily said...

Oh, it's a lil' short guy! I like it a lot.
e