To Do

Tis the Season. Bah Humbug.

1. Hang four strands of Christmas lights purchased a week ago
1a. Troubleshoot hanging lights on aluminum siding with no available wood to receive staples or other fasteners
2. Read Diaper Free Baby
2a. Have a nervous breakdown at the prospect of having a baby, diaper-free or otherwise
2b. Have second nervous breakdown at the prospect of NOT having a baby, diaper-free or otherwise
3. Publicly admit a newfound addiction to The Office (check)
3a. Flagellate self for choosing such a popular and often offensive recipient for my affections
3b. Flagellate self further for watching an entire season in one day
3c. Watch seasons 3-5 before Monday
4. Clean the house
4a. Go to IKEA to buy relevant shelving
4b. Beg little sister to do it for me
4c. Buy little sister lunch as payment for doing it for me.
5. Make dinner on Sunday. Feed to siblings.
5a. Contemplate creating an entirely raw meal
5b. Have panic attack at the prospect of going to the supermarket
5c. Fail to make raw meal. Make soup.
5d. Flagellate self for failing to make raw meal and making soup.
5e. Eat cookies.
6. Read book on therapeutic fasting and determine if therapeutic fasting can cure an allergy to avocados.
7. Find a month in which I am only required to sit on the couch. Drink only water during that month and eat no food. Self-test for allergy by scoring inner arm flesh with paring knife and rubbing open wound with avocado. Hope to avoid anaphylaxis.
8. See brother perform new songs. Could have checked this off tonight, but am functionally nailed to the couch. See #3 a-c.
9. Realize that finals are next week.
10. Read all articles and book chapters on syllabus for Substance Abuse Counseling class.
11. Purchase prints from Smitten Kitchen's Deb, frame, and hang in a visual celebration of produce.
12. Eat only produce.
13. Consider going raw.
14. Reject the idea in favor of eating only cinnamon rolls.
15. Find a pot of gold.
15 a. Buy a yoga pass.
15b. Go to yoga.
15c. Buy a food processor.
15d. Eat only produce with ease thanks to new food processor.
15e. Buy Christmas gifts for loved ones.
16. Complete all assignments for Group Counseling class.
17. Prepare presentation on Feminist Multicultural Therapy for Group Counseling Class
18. Prepare presentation of new anti-rape presentation for staff meeting
18a. graciously receive feedback on anti-rape presentation.
18b. Refrain from mentioning that 85% of presenting in a high school is classroom management and high school students won't notice semantic minutia.
18c. Obsess over semantic minutia.
19. Die hair with henna which arrived in the mail today.
20. Or not.
21. Take down birthday tree.
22. Put in basement or shed.
23. Clean out basement and shed.
24. Create food storage in basement in case of apocalypse.
25. Consider moving to California.
26. Or not.
27. Deal with sisal rug currently on front porch.
28. Make preparations for AWP conference in February.
29. Return defunct pumpkinphernelia to Target.
30. Contemplate the task of hosting Christmas in my tiny house.
30a. Hyperventilate. Possibly have nervous breakdown. Lay on floor and cry.
31. Despair about the tasks associated with adulthood.
32. Revamp filing system into something functional.
33. Learn to do a pull up.
34. Buy Vibram fivefingers
35. Learn to run with ease thanks to Vibram fivefingers.
36. Plant bulbs. Possibly missed the boat on this one. Tundra already in effect.
37. Change insurance.
38. Advise thesis adviser that according to current projections there will be no thesis.
38a. Investigate Participatory Action Research as a potential solution to thesislessness.
39. Mourn failed attempt to academicise.
39. Take comfort in wombos.
40. Validate self based on feminist socio-political analysis.
41. Discover win-win solution to an introvert-extrovert marriage.
42. Attend Beehive Bazaar in Provo.
43. Attend Salt Lake City Festival of Trees
44. Find decent Christmas Concert and attend it.
45. Attend Spring City Main Street Holiday Art Stroll
45a. Maybe buy Christmas presents there?
46. Update resume
47. Transfer photos to new computer.
47a. Print some and frame some.
47b. Develop new system for photos that works.
48. Apply for Costco AmEx card.
49. Deposit paychecks.
50. Write 50 page research precis for the Qualitative Research Methods class I took last year and got an incomplete in.
51. Take truck and car for 90k visits.
52. Figure out how to print from new computer.
53. Learn about vermicomposting.
54. Set up vermicomposting system in kitchen.
55. Learn to use new computer.
56. Rob a bank.
57. Transfer music to computer and phone
58. Learn to knit
59. Cross stitch pillow. Make mental note to learn embroidery, which is more appealing.
60. Call work answering service to figure out what's up with our bill from last month.
61. Create agenda for Hospital Response Team meeting.
62. Fix or replace our bed.
63. Send Christmas gift to grandmother.
64. Buy a purple pen.
65. Schedule anti-rape presentations for high schools.